“You have reached the voice mailbox of Gretchen Miller. Do not take this as an indication I am on the phone or occupied in any way. If I did not recognize your number, I did not answer your call. If I recognized your number, but was not in the mood to talk to you, I did not answer your call. If I am not within reach of the phone, I did not answer your call. You are welcome to leave a message. Doing so does not obligate me to return your call or even listen to your entire message. If you have left multiple messages and I have not called you back you should take the hint. If you are trying to sell me something, do not bother with a message; I will come looking for you if I really want to buy it. If you have listened to this entire message, and still feel there is a chance I will call you back, keep it brief, this voice mail only allows you thirty seconds to say everything you think I need to know. Have a nice day.”